Ranking the “Friday the 13th” Movies

Uncommon Journalism’s James Swift and Kristen M. Gilotti count down the seminal slasher series – and wax nostalgic on what makes the movies so beloved to this very day. Reflecting on 40 years of cinematic carnage – and the indelible footprint the Jason Voorhees mythos has left on American pop culture.

At this point, what more can be said about the long-running Friday the 13th franchise? Apparently, a good hour and a half’s worth of nostalgic musings. In a special 90-minute podcast, Uncommon Journalism’s James Swift and Kristen M. Gilotti countdown all 12 movies in the iconic horror series, along the way, reflecting on all of the motifs, ephemera, and pop-cultural memories spawned by the Jason Voorhees mythos.

Of course, this being alive, one-take, off-the-cuff recording, there were some flubs here and there. Demonstrating Her nigh encyclopedic knowledge of the Friday franchise, Kristen quickly noted two misstatements. One, the name of the actor who portrayed Demon in the infamous Friday the 13th Part 5 is Miguel Nunez, Jr. (yes, he of Juwanna Mann fame) and not Miguel Ortiz – which, like a serendipitous coincidence, Wikipedia says is the real name of a famed Mexican pro wrestler better known by the stage name Halloween.

Secondly, Deborah Voorhees (yep, her real name) appears to have spent most of her post-Friday career as a journalist, not a psychiatrist or psychotherapist. As an interesting side note, she’s currently hard at work directing a new film – a movie about a deranged Jason admirer stalking famous F13 actresses titled, fittingly enough, 13 Fanboy.

And as for James’ gaffes, miscues, and general inarticulations? Well, we’d be here all day counting those up – indeed, feel free to send Uncommon Journalism a list of inaccurate utterances and we’ll be sure to include them as received.

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Ranking the Friday the 13th Movies

It’s no easy task distilling an hour and a half of wistful Friday recollections into one 500-word blurb, so I guess it’ll probably be easier to tease some of the highlights of this particular convo:

– How the box art for Friday The 13th Part 7 kept Kristen out of grocery stores when she was a child

– Why James is pretty much the ONLY A New Beginning apologist on the planet

– What the original Friday said about the changing of the sociopolitical guards in American culture

– Why those seemingly pointless up-close yo-yo and popcorn popping scenes in Part 3 may not have been so pointless

– And, perhaps most importantly, which Friday movie is the king of them all? No spoilers, but this particular countdown ended in a tie … the kind perfect for a hockey-mask-clad, mongoloid mass murderer to use to kill off oversexed teens in the wilderness, of course.

For those of you that prefer your audio in podcast form, we here at Uncommon Journalism have you covered. You can download the full 90-minute interview, in its entirety (for free!) at the link below: Whether you’re a hardcore horror dork that knows all the words to “Love is a Lie” by Lion or just a casual fan curious about the greater pop cultural ramifications of the Friday series, there’s surely something in the conversation to tickle just about anybody’s fancies. And if absolutely nothing else? My goodness will listen to this thing make you yearn for the 1980s again … and bad.

Uncommon Journalism, 2020
By: James Swift, Kristen M. Gilotti

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Ranking the “Friday the 13th” Movies
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